Don’t tell anyone your plans, hopes, and dreams. Put everyone on a need to know basis. Do not even tell your spouse, until required.
Do your research quietly. Make your moves without anyone knowing.
Why do I say this? Well, have you ever told someone something that you had high hopes for, and felt your heart sink as they proceeded to dump on your idea or plan? Have you had a person you loved and respected call your dream, a hobby? Have you tried to get something going, so you can escape the misery of your job or life, only to have someone say it’s impossible, or won’t work?
This sort of negativity can have devastating effects on your creativity and desire to succeed or do good things.
The person who says these things to you might mean well. But, you must realize that your subconscious does not differentiate between jokes, or well meaning criticism. It just registers it as fact. It registers the meaning, not the intent. That’s why you can curse yourself, if you say trash to yourself all day. Your brain doesn’t separate it from your desire. It just records the words, and takes them as fact.
Listen the average person is average because they all listen to the same negative, fear laden, play it safe ideas.
Just do it, and prove them wrong. Just move forward and brag about it after you succeed. Could you fail? Yes, but you certainly will fail, if you never try.
Now, I’m not saying that you don’t research or seek out good godly council. But, always get second and even third opinions. Always seek out real experts, or knowledgeable people, but also look at the mavericks. Sometimes experts all say the same things, and get stuck in what they consider to be laws of their trade. But, then comes an Einstein, or a Tesla, and turns the whole industry on its ear. Ask them questions to feel them out, but you still do not need to reveal everything, or take all advice.
Listen, just because you love someone does not mean they are an expert or even really wise. Stupid people grow old too, and smart people can be very negative. They might have alternative reasons for shooting down your ideas. They might not want you to succeed, because it will make them have to step up. Or it will cause you to leave them. Seriously, how many kids have failed because the mom did not want them to leave the nest?
Not only can negative people shoot you down directly, but they can crack jokes that bring you down. This is a very subtle sabotage. They will talk to other people and the other person will bring you down. Like a step parent, or an in-law. They might not say a word, but their demeanor plainly shows how they feel about what’s going on. You might not be told what they think, but your minds ability to read body language will register the negativity, even without the words. Even another person’s thoughts and prayers about you and your plans can have a negative effect on what you are trying to do. And you will not know why.
Some people do not need to be in the loop. Now a spouse is a partner and needs to be included, but do not let them crush you for no reason, or just out of fear. You know your spouse. You know how they will be. Help them feel comfortable. Listen to them and alleviate their concerns without letting them crush your dreams.
Trust me. Tell no one of your plans or ideas until they need to know or until it’s too late to stop it. This simple thing has brought me tons of peace and allowed me to succeed or fail based upon my own efforts. There are few things worse than public failure, and scorn. Even if people love you and support you, there can be feelings of ridicule or shame. If you don’t tell anyone what you are doing, then you can fail as many times as you need, until you get success, and there will be no embarrassment.
Tell no one. Just do it.
(Photograph: The ceiling of the George Rogers Clark Memorial in Vincennes, Indiana.)