It’s Father’s Day, and we must prepare for all the Facebook posts where single mothers call themselves, mom and dad. This attitude should be a perfect example of why Dad is not around any more.
Now, before you jump on me and say “It’s about the children!!” You must realize that I understand that, and so do millions of fathers who are labeled dead beat, because they do not live up to the mom’s expectations. But, we are not required to please the mother. That’s not our job. We are not required to obey her wishes when it comes to the children. They are not HER children. That is Golden Vagina Syndrome.
There’s a thing called Parental Alienation. It is where a parent intentionally keeps the children away from the other parent. The offending parent will give all kinds of justifications, such as protecting the child. But, the bottom line is that parental alienation is illegal and wrong. It is child abuse. If a parent is bad enough to keep the children away from another parent, then it should be easily provable in court. It should not be based upon the biased feelings of a disgruntled parent.
If a parent must go to court to fight to get their children then parental alienation is already occurring. The children are being abused. There is no excuse. Some claim that since they are not getting child support, they have the right. But, visitation and child support are 2 separate things. A parent cannot legally deny visits because of a lack of child support. It is child abuse. If you are helping a parent restrict visits with another parent, then you are supporting child abuse.
A parent should not have to put up with your mouth or abuse, or anything else in order to see their child. The old saying “He can come get them anytime he wants.” is a lie. He should not have to deal with you. The other parent should not have to submit to your games or efforts to control, or punishments, in order to have a relationship with the child.
If a child is sick, you take them to the doctor because their health is important. You take the child to school, because education is important. You take the child to the dentist, because teeth are important. You go to work and provide, because food and shelter, is important. But, when it comes to the other parent, you wanna say “They can come anytime….”. No. You should be providing for this as well. It matters to the child. You make sure the child has that relationship, without causing trouble.
Every family law case should begin at 50/50 custody, with no child support given. If the court says that it’s the “Best interests of the child” then, the child should be in the custody of the parent who can afford them without support. If you can’t support them you should not have them. You wanna talk about fair? Is it fair to steal income from the other parent, who could use that money to provide for the child and the future? How many families have lived in poverty for decades, because they could not build up wealth due to punishing child support? Those kids turn 18 and have nothing but two broke parents. 50/50 custody, no support, allows both parents the freedom to provide, and to provide for any future kids they might have separately.
This is not the old days, when a mother was dependent on a man. That has been proven untrue in today’s world. Women often have the ability to get good jobs while men scrape by. Maybe a woman who refuses to work, and provide for her kids, living on child support, should be labeled a dead beat mom?
The bottom line is that children need both parents. They need both extended families, and our culture needs to wake up to the fact. We need to start helping families to succeed. Children love both parents, no matter how bad the parent might be. Or how bad the other parent claims they are. Children want both parents, and ways should be made to make that happen, and to protect them from alienation.
It should not be said that a parent has abandoned the kids, or doesn’t want them, unless there is a paper signed in court stating as much. Until that day a parent should be considered a parent who wants their kids, but something is stopping it. Until the day they surrender rights, they should not be called a dead beat.
I and millions of fathers, who have had children stolen from us, are dead beats no more. And we never were.