Release

I was in the arctic.
Those frozen forests of Alaska.
North of Fairbanks,
in the wild Yukon.

It was night,
and the moon shown,
on the white, bright snow.
Everything had a light, blue glow.

It was cold,
minus 60 degrees,
and I prayed to God,
for a sign to go.

I needed a change.
A new life, away.
And a way to go.
A way to escape,
that life I was in.

I no longer cared.
I no longer tried.
I no longer lived.
It no longer mattered.

Then, something drew my gaze.
I cannot say what.
There was nothing there.
But, I knew it would appear.

And before it came,
I was excited to see it.

Ready for whatever was
coming; ready for it to be.

And there it was!
An Arctic Fox appeared
on a small mound before me.
And he watched me, as I watched him.

And I knew in that instant that I was free.
Free to go. Free to flow.
Free to die. Free to flee.

It was ok. God was with me.

(Photograph of a frozen Alaskan road at sun rise, north of Fairbanks in 1991)